Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Devil

I'm back people and with a vengence (and story to vent) this morning.

I believe I shared before that we kept the stray boy dog, whom we named Chess.

Chess was the angel when we were trying to find him a home. Never messed in the house, doesn't chew, sits sweetly in your lap, etc. I took him to the vet and declared him ours and he is my little devil.. .. EVERYday. Take this morning for example:

I'm fixing my coffee and thinking "Chess isn't in the kitchen with me, wonder what he's up to?" So I walk into the family room. There squats Chess, beneath the Christmas tree, taking a POO to leave as a gift!!!!

I yell at him, give him a little smack, and hurry him outside the back door. My plan was that he would resume position and I could then clip the leash on him, but no.

Chess walked out the door in shame and then went on to SPRINT throughout the neighborhood. He refuses to listen. I think he understands that I haven't had my shower yet, it's my day off to get things done, my glasses are on, my housecoat is tied tightly around and I don't want take this bad-looking self anywhere outside my back door.

Fast forward to when I meet a neighbor, whom I have never had contact with before, through our car windows. She informs me that my little brown dog is in her cul-de-sac. I turn the car around, zip to that part of the neighborhood, he's fraternizing with yet another unknown neighbor. My shameful self has to climb out of the car, looking a mess, to take the cowering Chess out from behind this man's legs. Excellent.

I tell the man, "I'm soooo sorry. You've just met the devil. Hope you have a nice day"

Chess is now cowering beneath the Christmas tree because every time he moves, I shout. OMG!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Summer Pickin'

(photo credit: Shutterstock)

It was decided late Saturday night that having a family outing for blueberry picking the following morning would merit a Sunday morning. Mom, Sarah, Shawna and I picked three delicious gallons whilst Shannon and T.J. ate their fair share..
The end of summer I believe is here and we had a good run for the last weekend. We picked up a dear friend, headed for the beautiful North Georiga mountains, enjoyed great food and time with family and celebrated Clayton's birthday!
And now we will be enjoying fresh blueberries for days to come.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Oh girls!

Friday is finally here! I'm sitting downstairs in my favorite chair (that Blake hates) with Lilah by my side. Chess, our stray dog that is still visiting, is sitting at my feet destroying a toy that Lilah has not played with since she received it for Christmas last year. And Shannon...

Shannon is not allowed to play her radio without closing the door. Blake just walked into the family room and asked me if her radio was up all the way... I'm so sure that it is. What's priceless though is hearing the foot rythm to her dancing her heart out. I love it.

I would join her just for laughs but I'm remembering my favorite quote from her this week after I had asked her to do something. What, I don't recall, but typically she would do the activity on her own:

Shannon: "uggghhh. Why do you always have to tell me to do things that I like to do?! It takes all the fun out of it!"

Oops :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Monday, September 6, 2010

Lilah's Look-Alike

Lilah Grace

Yancy/Max (the jury is still out)

Nap Time
Yancy/Max/Peanut/Little Boy wandered into our backyard last Thursday night. Shannon and I walked house to house and met many of our neighbors, trying to find his home. Well, you know you're not going to have any luck when more than one person asks, "Which dog is yours? I can't tell." And I politely answered: "THE ONE ON THE LEASH..." 

Well, for the meantime, the little guy is sleeping at night in our bathroom as we are trying not to become too attached. It's quite difficult though when he shares all the same mannerisms as Lilah.

Let me know if anyone ones to adopt him. Warning: we are screening applicants.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The hills are alive with:




Blake's birthday gift finally arrived! We attended the Fox Theatre last Sunday and saw "The sound of Music"and it was absolutely wonderful, enchanting as always.  We have all remained in song this week and am ready for a corresponding movie night soon..

Sunday, August 29, 2010

"I'm a fun girl"

Dear "fun girl" friend,

Blake and I enjoyed enlisting you on Match.com last week. I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. I now know that anyone interested should do their prep work, such as listing one's qualities and interests. Who would have known everything could sound so generic?!

I know you were excited about the 10 e-mail recieved over one night... all weirdos? Let's remember that it signified they up all night, probably looking for future dates. Somewhat desperate.

25 more e-mails a day later doesn't sound bad. Only one of them seemed normal? Those odds sound about right. Our goal is one normal date a month, right? I think we can still meet that goal!

I did some research and wanted to share a few fun and relevant facts with you:

Facts Relevant to Online Dating:
1. Women who post a photo on Internet dating sites receive twice as many email messages as women who don’t. The same study found that men who reported incomes higher than $250,000 received 156% more email than those with $50,000.

2. Match.com reports that 44% of its members in the United States have children.

3. Thirty-three percent of online daters form a relationship, 33% do not, and 33% give up.

4. In the online dating world, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone “fat.” According to Ann Rule, about 3% of men are psychopaths, of which only a tiny percentage are serial killers

5. In a survey of 5,000 singles conducted by Match.com, 43% said fresh breath mattered the most before a date, 17% said stylish clothes, 15% said sexy fragrance, 14% said good skin, and 10% said great hair.

6. Twenty to 40 million Americans have used online dating services. Nearly 50% of online daters are aged 18-34 and 24% are 35-44.

7. Approximately 48% of online daters reported that their breakups occurred via email.

8. On Match.com, 132 million winks are sent out each year and members go out on a six million dates per year.

9. eHarmony.com boasts that 236 of its members marry each day, accounting for 2% of U.S. marriages.

10. An attractive online “About Me” section in your online dating profile often includes a brief description of what you are passionate about or thankful for, a couple of things your friends say about you, qualities you are looking for in a potential partner, the first thing people notice about you (other than appearance), how you spend your leisure time, five things you can’t live without, and the latest good book you’ve read.


General Dating Facts You May Find Relevant:
1. If a man can’t decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear blue. Studies show that women are attracted to men in blue.

2. The third week in September is National Singles Week in the U.S.

3. Mirroring, or repeating someone’s body language, often impresses a date because it subtly conveys interest to the other person. One should avoid copying every move, however.

4. Body language studies show that revealing areas of the body that aren’t usually on display (such as the inner wrist, the inside of the upper arm, ankles, feet, inside calf muscle, and the nape of the neck) has an immediate effect on a date and shows an instant liking.

5. If you want to create an instant link with a date, say his or her name at least twice in the conversation. This shows attentiveness and connectiveness.

6. Studies show that remembering bits of information about a person and working them into conversations not only is highly flattering but also shows interest

7. The appropriate time to call after meeting a man or woman is hotly debated among dating experts. Typically, the ideal time to wait to call is two to four days, though no longer than four to five days. Calling too soon can appear desperate.

8. **Statistics show that trying to get a relationship to work with an ex doesn’t usually work. The case where it might work is if there were extenuating circumstances of the breakup, such as one of couple had been going through a family tragedy or moved. **

9. Research shows that men know they’re falling in love after just three dates, but women don’t fall in love until date 14

10. “Desperate” daters are typically always available, are clingy, need constant relationship status updates, fish for compliments, drop their standards, and rationalize bad treatment.

11. Over 50% of all singles in America have not had a date in more than two years.

12. Four common date blunders include showing up late, talking about yourself too much, revealing too much about your ex, and an obvious over-eagerness.

For more information, please refer to :
 
Wishing You the Best,
 
Dana

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Thank you Shawna for sharing this- a video every teenage girl should see:

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Pseudo-Mom

So, naturally people are uncertain as how to address our family unit now. Friday's was the first that I didn't see coming and really made me laugh.. there was no stifling it. "Pseudo-Mom" Very original.

Well, below are some of the pictures take on our first family vacation. We had so much fun and I definitely wouldn't trade my pseudo-Mom blessing for absolutely anything. Vacation is even more fun through a 'pre-teen'/(child)'s eyes. Plus, the relaxation was well-overdue!



Shannon LOVED the towel animals... and Blake and I did too!



Shannon displaying where our little voyage took us:


In Cozumel, we spent the day snorkeling along the shore in a National Park called Chankanaab Park. Although the snorkeling pictures haven't been developed yet, some of our adventures elsewhere in the park have. For example, Bingo, the sea lion, was my boyfriend for the day. I received both a kiss on the cheek and then a kiss on the kisser!







Our second port was Calica, just beside Playa del Carmen. We were a little more adventurous here in that we met a great couple from Asheville, NC just off the boat and decided to rent a jeep together. The day was spent at Tulum, Mayan ruins, as well as eating and shopping in town.




Food, sun, expeditions, food, pool, chess, room service, turn down service, family time, fun and FOOD all made it a great trip and oh so hard to return to reality!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Women vs. Wild


Scene: Kroger

People:  Dana, Shannon, 2 Kroger customers, 3 Kroger employees.

Action:

Shannon: (standing in line, looking at candy) A grasshopper?! Would you like a grasshopper Auntie?"

Aunt Dana: (checking out) Well no, no I would not.  (thinking: But the better question is, what is a large grasshopper doing inside a box of spearmint gum)
                     (speaking to cashier, holding the box): Ma'am, do you have a trash can or other way for me to dispose of this grasshopper?

Cashier: Oh my goodness. Umm.. there's one behind me (pointing).

(Aunt Dana tries to pass the box of gum & grasshopper to cashier)

Cashier: Umm, no. I don't do those.

Aunt Dana: Well, I'll just go outside and release him then?

Cashier: Do you want buy all that?

Aunt Dana: No thank you. I do not want to buy the gum nor the grasshopper. Just want to release this guy.

Cashier: Give it to her. (points to another coworker)

(Aunt Dana assumes this must be a manager who can act more appropriately and take care of the nature inside of the grocery store)

Aunt Dana: Ma'am, a grasshopper...

Non-manager employee: Ahh! (picks up the grasshopper and drops it on the floor) He can just make his way out eventually.

(3 other employees stand behind her and watch and make no comment)

WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!

After checking out, Shannon and I obtained an extra Kroger bag and picked the poor sucker up, who kept trying to hop away from me, and released him outside... into nature and out of a grocery store. OH MY GOSH.

Friday, August 20, 2010

If I were to pick one song that held the most meaning to me, without question I would choose "Don't Laugh At Me" recorded by Mark Willis for several reasons:
  • It was one of the first songs that pulled on my heartstrings.
  • My middle school girlfriend, Ryan L., gave me one of the most thoughful gifts I have ever received- her personal cd for a Christmas gift.
  • It was the song that I always sang to Shannon when rocking her to sleep as a baby.
  • It still holds my thoughts on a regular basis to this day.
  • And then today there was a man that reminded ,e of the truth to these bare country lyrics and humbled me once again...

I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm the cripple on the corner
You've passed me on the street
And I wouldn't be out here beggin'
If I had enough to eat
And don't think I don't notice
That our eyes never meet

I lost my wife and little boy when
Someone cross that yellow line
The day we laid them in the ground
Is the day I lost my mind
And right now I'm down to holdin'
This little cardboard sign...so

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall
I'm deaf, I'm blind, hey, aren't we all

Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Boys & Girls

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dog tails,
That's what little boys are made of!

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and everything nice,
That's what little girls are made of!






Together, only fun and crazy memories are made..

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I have been ridiculed by, well, everyone who knows I “have” a blog for my lack of blogging. Take this my friends (and husband), twice in one night!!!:

Wrinkles

In January (I think) I realized that at the young age of 24, I, Dana Chambers, have real wrinkles. I flipped out. It’s not so much that wrinkles are on my face, that is inevitable, it’s the age part. This wasn’t supposed to happen for at least another 4 years. That was my estimate at least.

My wrinkles are composed of four lines across my forehead from the constant wrinkled forehead that I hold in all facial expressions. After my discovery, I made a good faith effort to restrain from forehead-wrinkling expressions, then from all facial expressions for the reason stated before, then gave up. They are there. No lotion will do.

Here’s the best part, I was still dealing with this fact until about two minutes ago when my adorable husband came rushing down the stairs with “Look. Dana, stop what you’re doing and look.”

What was I looking at? Well he finally had the same awkward discovery in our small, ill-lit bathroom that I had nearly 5 months ago. He has the beginning creases of crow’s feet and they will be full form probably within the year…

Fortunately for us both, I have always endeared people with “happy lines”. I think people look very favorable with crow’s feet. So haha to him for having wrinkles, but boo to the fact that mine make me look old and his just make him look joyful.

Not fair at all.

Sidewalk Art


I wish I had our actual image to post, but perfectly timed, my camera was dead. Today Blake was disciplined by our rental property’s maintenance man. He’s a very friendly, cheerful individual but Shannon’s colorful display of sidewalk chart art was not well received.
See, I was under the impression that everything would wash away with rain like it did in my personal childhood memories. Therefore, Blake and I allowed our newest addition to the family, Shannon, to decorate not only our front stoop to the townhouse, but also the brick wall that contains it.

So… fast forward to when maintenance decided not to ask us to rub it off or spray it off with a hose. He instead brought a pressure washer and proceeded to pressure wash the entire complex- brick wall and stoops!

I felt very guilty when Blake shared this with me via a text message today. In fact, I decided to write a note of apology to pass along with our rent check. After coming home this evening though, I might also pass along a thank you note because the white sidewalks sure do look nice! J

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Du-mates

Well I spent the entirety of yesterday with my oh-so-wonderful roommates and one duplex neighbor from Auburn. Collectively, we refer to ourselves as du-mates. I love them each so much (and their hubbies for sharing their Saturdays)! Pictured are all the lovely ladies: Ho-J, Ging-ger and Harm, and yesterday's missing attendants are Taylor and Julieann.


Delilah Grace joined us as well. My niece was asking me the story of Lilah two weekends ago and it was so much fun to recall her beginnings. Lilah was all of our baby when first adopted. The name Delilah was given to annoy Ginger and Grace was given by Aunt Holly.


College sure was fun, but watching each others' lives progress is even more. Can't wait til the next du-mate reunion...


Monday, January 4, 2010

Fancy

So, I just called one of our physicians on his cell phone. Surprisingly, he answered. Here's our conversation:

Dana: Hi. Dr. Snoopy*?
Dr.: Yes?
Dana: This is Dana Chambers, from the hospital.
Dr.: Yes. Hi Dana, how are you?
Dana: I'm fine thanks. Listen, this is going to be a funny story…
Dr.: mmhmm (wondering, "how did she get my cell")
Dana: Earlier today when you were leaving the hospital, I was driving behind you.
Dr.: Oh, you were?!
Dana: Yes. And when your hubcaps fell off, I honked at you.
Dr.: Yes, you did.(!)
Dana: Well, I don't want you to think that we were trying to rush you. I was honking because 2 hubcaps came off and you only picked up 1.
Dr.: Oh they did? My gosh, this is so embarrassing.
Dana: Yes, well the other one rolled to other side of your car and now I have it in my office.
Dr.: Oh good, because those can be very expensive! etc. etc. etc.

Turns out all people of all professions have bad days...