Women vs. Wild

Scene: Kroger

People:  Dana, Shannon, 2 Kroger customers, 3 Kroger employees.

Action:

Shannon: (standing in line, looking at candy) A grasshopper?! Would you like a grasshopper Auntie?"

Aunt Dana: (checking out) Well no, no I would not.  (thinking: But the better question is, what is a large grasshopper doing inside a box of spearmint gum)
                     (speaking to cashier, holding the box): Ma'am, do you have a trash can or other way for me to dispose of this grasshopper?

Cashier: Oh my goodness. Umm.. there's one behind me (pointing).

(Aunt Dana tries to pass the box of gum & grasshopper to cashier)

Cashier: Umm, no. I don't do those.

Aunt Dana: Well, I'll just go outside and release him then?

Cashier: Do you want buy all that?

Aunt Dana: No thank you. I do not want to buy the gum nor the grasshopper. Just want to release this guy.

Cashier: Give it to her. (points to another coworker)

(Aunt Dana assumes this must be a manager who can act more appropriately and take care of the nature inside of the grocery store)

Aunt Dana: Ma'am, a grasshopper...

Non-manager employee: Ahh! (picks up the grasshopper and drops it on the floor) He can just make his way out eventually.

(3 other employees stand behind her and watch and make no comment)

WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!

After checking out, Shannon and I obtained an extra Kroger bag and picked the poor sucker up, who kept trying to hop away from me, and released him outside... into nature and out of a grocery store. OH MY GOSH.